Belonging Before Believing

Murray Brown

For many of us the thing that drives us in youth ministry is the passion to see young people believe. We prepare programmes, Bible studies and messages to achieve that end. We undertake pastoral visits, create an "open door policy" and even go to meet young people "on their turf", all for the purpose of seeing them come to faith.

Yet all these activities, as good as they are, will have limited effectiveness if another objective is not achieved: belonging.

Belonging is at the core of the Godhead: the three in one. Belonging is at the core of Christ’s prayer for His church – that we would be one even as God is one.

Quite some time ago a youth leader on my team who had begun coming to youth group at 14 from an unchurched background confided in me that the thing that stuck in her mind after her first youth group meeting was an impression that occurred during what she called a "silly game". Suddenly it struck her: these people really like each other! What attracted her was a desire to belong.

If we are to attract and hold these young people simply being "relational" as a youth leader won't cut it. We must place a high priority on creating communities that are relational, where young people feel accepted and valued.

How? Here are some suggestions.

Create a culture of affirmation and appreciation. Such a culture starts with the youth leaders who model this affirmation and appreciation. Avoid putdowns – even those in jest. Instead look for opportunities to encourage, and to praise. Verbalise these comments. Send text/sms messages and cards. Make every person feel as though they are important and valued.

Find ways for them to contribute. It may be through a creative ministry group that utilises their gifts, or in organising the occasional social event that gives them a sense of ownership. When young people contribute to the ministry they move from being consumers to participants, giving them a sense of importance within the group.

Think small. Many young people will struggle to feel a sense of belonging in a large group, so look for opportunities to include “fringe” young people in smaller events. Invite them out along with 2 or 3 others their age and plan activity that will encourage interaction and belonging.

Be Christ-centric. It is Christ’s presence in a group that creates that indefinable “something” that can attract people in. When He is “lifted up” within a youth ministry and He is seen as central to all that occurs a spiritual dynamic is released that sees people “drawn to Him”. By all means implement the above ideas and strategise to come up with more. But above all, pray and strive for a ministry that is all about Jesus.